Reverence Of Mothers In Islam

Salaam and peace, all –
For the past few years, I’ve written about my mother on Mother’s Day. While I could write a book about her, I’ll mention just a few points about motherhood from the Qur’aan and sunnah/traditions of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).
Did you know?

1. The word for the womb in Arabic (rahm) has the same root as the word for mercy (rahma). God is often referred to as “Ar-Rahmaan” (the Oft-Merciful) in the Qur’aan and commands Muslims to keep the ties of kinship.
2. Mothers are held in a somewhat higher regard than fathers in Islam. Yep, we love our Dads to pieces. But mothers? They’re on a whoooole different level. A companion of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) once narrated: “A man once came to Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and said, ‘O Messenger of God, who among the people is most deserving of my kindness/companionship?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ The man asked, ‘Then who?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, then who?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, ‘Then who?’ He said, ‘Your father.’” In another tradition, it is reported that he told one of his companions that Paradise is at the feet of the mothers.
3. The Qur’aan mentions having reverence to God and our parents. Meaning, they have such a high place in Islam, that God mentions them right after His name. This doesn’t mean they’re on the same level (to be worshipped), but it does mean they’re meant to be honored and respected. “Be thankful to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.”[Qur'aan 31:14]
4. Keeping close ties and respecting our mother is a command from God, no matter what religion she’s on. One of the greatest sins in Islam (besides polytheism, murder, injustice, oppression, bearing false witness, etc.) is disobeying our parents. The only time we should not obey them, according to Islamic teachings, is when they command us to do something clearly wrong or heretical. Outside of this, respect and honor is the default. “Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility and say, ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.’” [Qur'aan 17:23-24] It was narrated that Asma’ bint Abi Bakr (the prophet’s sister-in-law) said: “My mother came to visit me at the time of the Messenger of God (pbuh) while she was a polytheist. I consulted the Messenger of God (pbuh), saying, ‘My mother has come to visit me for some purpose. Should I uphold ties of kinship with her?’ He said, ‘Yes, uphold ties of kinship with your mother.’”
   
5. If our parents reach old age, it is part of our duty to take care of them. A man once asked a companion of the prophet if he would be rewarded by God for tending to his elderly mother. He told him this was an obligation (i.e., you owe her more than that just for the contractions you caused). “And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents. His mother bears him with hardship. And she brings him forth with hardship…” [Qur'aan 46:15]
6. Even after death, Muslims are taught to pray for their forgiveness, to keep the ties of kinship, to treat their parents’ friends and family well, and to make sure their debts and obligations are paid up. It was reported from one of the prophet’s companions that a woman from Juhaynah came to the prophet (pbuh) and said: “My mother vowed to go for Hajj, but she died before she did so. Can I perform Hajj on her behalf?” He said, “Yes, perform Hajj on her behalf. Do you not think that if your mother owed a debt that you would pay it off for her? Fulfil her debt to God, for God is more deserving that what is owed to Him should be paid.”

I sometimes wonder what it might have been like without a mother. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) grew up as an orphan; his father died before he was born, and his mother died when he was about 6 years old. He could have been a “statistic.” But he treated his own caretakers as parents, spreading his cloak for them to sit on, and honoring their friends and relatives in the same way.
Believe it or not, some Islamic scholars have argued that Muslims already have built-in Mother’s Day (everyday), and should not celebrate it once a year or like ‘Eid (and that it may even hurt the feelings of those without mothers). Others have argued that because mothers have such a high status in Islam, it should not be ignored on Mother’s Day. Frankly, I’m pretty sure what Prophet Muhammad (saws) would do, considering the circumstances in the West, but God knows best.
May God preserve the well-being of our mothers who are with us, have mercy on those who have passed, and help us learn the true meaning of mercy.